Men are Fighters, Women are Casters (Part 1 of Series)
About half an hour ago my heart was churning with self-doubt and hesitation. But I'm feeling better now so I've decided to go ahead and start on this extremely one-sided series of posts about gender.
Am I qualified to write about this subject? Yes, you naysayers. At least, as long as I keep it within the male perspective, which is the only one I really understand.
And why? What motivates you to do this? Well, I've been enthusiastic about this idea for some time. But more importantly, though I believe that every one of us has life experiences that can allow us to understand the truth about this world, it seems that I'm the only person who's willing to dramatize what I know and hawk it for the sake of attention. And catharsis.
But I'd also like your comments if you feel like pitching in... I'm not young anymore. Every little bit would help towards the ultimate life goal, which is...
TRUTH 1: ALWAYS GET THE GIRL / ALWAYS SAVE THE GIRL
If you have to choose between saving the world or saving the girl, just save the girl.
If it's a choice between pure cosmic energy and the girl, choose the girl.
If you choose otherwise, they will call you a dumbass, a jackass, a jerk, and an ass, and they will be right. Or at least, they will be have the strong backing of a pervading, potentially global culture that has sedimented this highest of high motivations in the river banks of the male mind.
Girl vs. Job - Choose Girl.
Girl vs. Family - Choose by assigning numerical values to the Girl's inner and outer hotness, then assigning a positive numerical value that is negatively associated with how stroke-inducing your family is. Divide the family score by half and compare. Pick the category with the higher number.
Girl vs. Car- Choose Girl.
Girl vs. Baby- Choose baby, but only because baby will sprout into new girl. If male, abandon discretely.
I think the influence of this is pretty much universal today, though not all people apply it... And I've run out of meaningful things to say. Rest assured I've got a better plan for the next few. That said... Shock value ftw?
Disclaimer: I'm not going to mean the politically incorrect things I say in these next few posts. Only the good stuff.
------------
Lolball.
Say it guys and girls. Spread the word. It's gonna go viral, and people are going to go
lolball.
Am I qualified to write about this subject? Yes, you naysayers. At least, as long as I keep it within the male perspective, which is the only one I really understand.
And why? What motivates you to do this? Well, I've been enthusiastic about this idea for some time. But more importantly, though I believe that every one of us has life experiences that can allow us to understand the truth about this world, it seems that I'm the only person who's willing to dramatize what I know and hawk it for the sake of attention. And catharsis.
But I'd also like your comments if you feel like pitching in... I'm not young anymore. Every little bit would help towards the ultimate life goal, which is...
TRUTH 1: ALWAYS GET THE GIRL / ALWAYS SAVE THE GIRL
If you have to choose between saving the world or saving the girl, just save the girl.
If it's a choice between pure cosmic energy and the girl, choose the girl.
If you choose otherwise, they will call you a dumbass, a jackass, a jerk, and an ass, and they will be right. Or at least, they will be have the strong backing of a pervading, potentially global culture that has sedimented this highest of high motivations in the river banks of the male mind.
Girl vs. Job - Choose Girl.
Girl vs. Family - Choose by assigning numerical values to the Girl's inner and outer hotness, then assigning a positive numerical value that is negatively associated with how stroke-inducing your family is. Divide the family score by half and compare. Pick the category with the higher number.
Girl vs. Car- Choose Girl.
Girl vs. Baby- Choose baby, but only because baby will sprout into new girl. If male, abandon discretely.
I think the influence of this is pretty much universal today, though not all people apply it... And I've run out of meaningful things to say. Rest assured I've got a better plan for the next few. That said... Shock value ftw?
Disclaimer: I'm not going to mean the politically incorrect things I say in these next few posts. Only the good stuff.
------------
Lolball.
Say it guys and girls. Spread the word. It's gonna go viral, and people are going to go
lolball.
posted by moet at 7:52 AM
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