Soup and Stew
I finished my Durkheim essay this morning (Though obviously there were some glaring flaws. It was good that Weili called. Haha). Deciding that this was a cause for celebration, I gave myself a break from school today and watched Boston Legal Season 1.
That show is... seductive... But more on that at some later point.
While watching Alan Shore engage in ridiculous tomfoolery, the thought occurred to me that too much school was preventing me from studying... Now, putting the fact that I first thought this in jest, and brushing off the implication that I don't value my education enough, I've come to think that this is quite true.
This semester, I've had some of the most spellbinding experiences of my life. Listening to Peter Van de Kamp rattle on and on during Monday classes, seeing Neil Gaiman in person at the Arts House, Lindy Hop class, meeting new people, and even watching Boston Legal... These learning experiences are really big detours from what I'd originally signed up to learn (Sociology). Yet, it's only through these experiences that I've been able to understand what it means to be 'filled with dreams', the accusation so often leveled at naive youths. I know what an aspiration truly feels like now. I've become intimately acquainted with jealousy and envy, bitterness and longing. That's not to say I've never felt such things before in my life; rather it's never been quite this frequent or consuming.
Sociology just doesn't have that kind of hold on me. Yes, I like what I'm learning. Yes, I think it's meaningful. Yes, I'm more comfortable telling people what I study now. And yes, a part of me is willing to participate in this field in the future, given the chance.
But as much as I'm captivated by the force of personality that great lecturers like Tan Joo Ean and Kwok Kian Woon exude, there are times when I find myself experiencing a feeling of spiritual disembodiment in classes. Tutorials are just too damn short. They're a game we play to make ourselves look better in front of our tutors and each other. Although it's true that as classmates, we do help each other to clarify concepts and discuss theories, I think that I can safely say that during tutorial, I've heard us say smart things but never any meaningful things. There's never enough time for us to discuss how we feel about social issues, let alone how we should feel. One hour per week per module... It's efficiency. It's bureaucracy.
And well, examinations are a game too. There isn't much difference between them and a game of DOTA or Red Alert 3. You need to know your stats and facts. You need to know your enemy/examiner/cohort. And you need to calmly calculate and choose whether or not you're going to take risks with your strategy.
It isn't this way with writing class. I've burnt entire weekends trying to get the assignments for it done, but each week, I had days to think about what it was that I wanted to write, and though I'm not at the top of my class, I can say that I'm proud of almost everything I've written.
It's only been in a year, but I'm already getting tired of playing this game the same way over and over again. It's a worthwhile experience to invest a little more of yourself into every essay you write, every project you do, every exam you take. Whether or not you write to express your passion for social justice, to question yourself and others to find answers, or just to look really smart in front of your peers, it's worth it to take the risk to make anyone who reads anything you write feel the heat of fiery words and the sharp edge of practiced thought. My goal for this exam will be to write with the fiery passion of Marx, the mental clarity and honesty of Weber, and the baseless confidence and flair of Emile Durkheim.
----------------------
Lindy Hop EOSP party.
Disregarding my lack of aesthetics... I got... 85% of my routine with Carmela right.
Watching the seniors really blew me away.
Trying to dance with my very limited move set left me in a bad mood by the end of the party, as awesome as it was.
I am going to get better at this. I will.
I really need to get more perked up.
That show is... seductive... But more on that at some later point.
While watching Alan Shore engage in ridiculous tomfoolery, the thought occurred to me that too much school was preventing me from studying... Now, putting the fact that I first thought this in jest, and brushing off the implication that I don't value my education enough, I've come to think that this is quite true.
This semester, I've had some of the most spellbinding experiences of my life. Listening to Peter Van de Kamp rattle on and on during Monday classes, seeing Neil Gaiman in person at the Arts House, Lindy Hop class, meeting new people, and even watching Boston Legal... These learning experiences are really big detours from what I'd originally signed up to learn (Sociology). Yet, it's only through these experiences that I've been able to understand what it means to be 'filled with dreams', the accusation so often leveled at naive youths. I know what an aspiration truly feels like now. I've become intimately acquainted with jealousy and envy, bitterness and longing. That's not to say I've never felt such things before in my life; rather it's never been quite this frequent or consuming.
Sociology just doesn't have that kind of hold on me. Yes, I like what I'm learning. Yes, I think it's meaningful. Yes, I'm more comfortable telling people what I study now. And yes, a part of me is willing to participate in this field in the future, given the chance.
But as much as I'm captivated by the force of personality that great lecturers like Tan Joo Ean and Kwok Kian Woon exude, there are times when I find myself experiencing a feeling of spiritual disembodiment in classes. Tutorials are just too damn short. They're a game we play to make ourselves look better in front of our tutors and each other. Although it's true that as classmates, we do help each other to clarify concepts and discuss theories, I think that I can safely say that during tutorial, I've heard us say smart things but never any meaningful things. There's never enough time for us to discuss how we feel about social issues, let alone how we should feel. One hour per week per module... It's efficiency. It's bureaucracy.
And well, examinations are a game too. There isn't much difference between them and a game of DOTA or Red Alert 3. You need to know your stats and facts. You need to know your enemy/examiner/cohort. And you need to calmly calculate and choose whether or not you're going to take risks with your strategy.
It isn't this way with writing class. I've burnt entire weekends trying to get the assignments for it done, but each week, I had days to think about what it was that I wanted to write, and though I'm not at the top of my class, I can say that I'm proud of almost everything I've written.
It's only been in a year, but I'm already getting tired of playing this game the same way over and over again. It's a worthwhile experience to invest a little more of yourself into every essay you write, every project you do, every exam you take. Whether or not you write to express your passion for social justice, to question yourself and others to find answers, or just to look really smart in front of your peers, it's worth it to take the risk to make anyone who reads anything you write feel the heat of fiery words and the sharp edge of practiced thought. My goal for this exam will be to write with the fiery passion of Marx, the mental clarity and honesty of Weber, and the baseless confidence and flair of Emile Durkheim.
----------------------
Lindy Hop EOSP party.
Disregarding my lack of aesthetics... I got... 85% of my routine with Carmela right.
Watching the seniors really blew me away.
Trying to dance with my very limited move set left me in a bad mood by the end of the party, as awesome as it was.
I am going to get better at this. I will.
I really need to get more perked up.
posted by moet at 9:19 AM
1 Comments:
go for it benny boy.uni life started to lose its luster somewhere around this time for me too. welcome to the doldrums. just keep cruisin man... friendships will solidify and your life will show direction soon enough.
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