I bought a hundred dollars worth of books today for a single module, somewhat accidentally. I wonder if the term free-fall of faith would stick for this situation.
It's always been easiest for me to measure my happiness by two things: How often I am second guessing myself, and how open I feel to people. Interaction with the world around you is at its most enjoyable when you're not having second or third thoughts about your actions. Being able to feel that you can trust others (and by implication, yourself) fills you with a powerful energy which no one should live without.
But there are those times when you can't help but feel that everyone is going to let you down, that you're going to let them down.
Not much seems to have been going right lately. A lot of good things happened in the past few months, but a lot of bad things did too, and I just can't seem to stop thinking about them... Half-victories and cut losses...
I went back to school today and met some old friends. I wasn't sure of what to say at times though, and in those moments of hesitation and indecision, I had a glimpse of what it could lead to. And I knew immediately that it was not acceptable.
Sometimes we come to a point when all we can perceive is the feeling that we are sinking, or regressing to an old self we're not proud of... I think that no matter how much we want our friends to pull us up or for circumstances to turn around, there are going to be times when we have to pull ourselves up, and rediscover a hunger for life.
Being confident in yourself and opening your heart to others and the world may be conditions for happiness, but the thought that truly sticks with me the most, the lesson that the good friends I have met in these past few years have taught me is, "Smile more." Their brightness and the inner warmth that they exuded leaves an impression on my mind that does not fade. And I think, remembering them, and remembering the times we shared reminds me that trying times always come to an end,
and that we will be laughing about them soon after.
It's always been easiest for me to measure my happiness by two things: How often I am second guessing myself, and how open I feel to people. Interaction with the world around you is at its most enjoyable when you're not having second or third thoughts about your actions. Being able to feel that you can trust others (and by implication, yourself) fills you with a powerful energy which no one should live without.
But there are those times when you can't help but feel that everyone is going to let you down, that you're going to let them down.
Not much seems to have been going right lately. A lot of good things happened in the past few months, but a lot of bad things did too, and I just can't seem to stop thinking about them... Half-victories and cut losses...
I went back to school today and met some old friends. I wasn't sure of what to say at times though, and in those moments of hesitation and indecision, I had a glimpse of what it could lead to. And I knew immediately that it was not acceptable.
Sometimes we come to a point when all we can perceive is the feeling that we are sinking, or regressing to an old self we're not proud of... I think that no matter how much we want our friends to pull us up or for circumstances to turn around, there are going to be times when we have to pull ourselves up, and rediscover a hunger for life.
Being confident in yourself and opening your heart to others and the world may be conditions for happiness, but the thought that truly sticks with me the most, the lesson that the good friends I have met in these past few years have taught me is, "Smile more." Their brightness and the inner warmth that they exuded leaves an impression on my mind that does not fade. And I think, remembering them, and remembering the times we shared reminds me that trying times always come to an end,
and that we will be laughing about them soon after.
posted by moet at 5:04 AM
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