Shadows fall across the sun, sometimes

Today in cell, Jamie talked about her friend who had cancer, somebody roughly around my age. How do you deal with that, let alone talk about it?

Things have been looking up for me on a lot of fronts recently. Most of my worries are past and I have nothing left but to dig a trench, get comfortable, and start studying. Taking steps to resolve some of the things that happened not-so-recently has brought me more joy and peace than I expected. There's still residual emoness sometimes though, and it bogs me down. Thoughts of losing, thoughts of losing out... They're still there, but quieter now.

I realize I've never really been attracted to sunshine girls and their wide smiles, cheery dispositions, energy, and generally optimistic outlooks on life (not the same thing as never feeling sad). Maybe it's because I can't get into their heads, or maybe it's because they don't like to wax lyrical about, or dwell too long upon somber and severe subjects. Maybe it's a pace of conversation problem. Hmm.

It's sad to see a sunny girl lose her sunshine, even though it's just for awhile and you know that they won't stay that way for long. It's sad that someone with that gift should look so dismayed, and it's a little bit unsettling too, in the same way that it's unsettling for a moody and reticent character to suddenly become buoyant and excited.

Well, at the beginning of a new day, they'll be smiling again, that's for sure.

(Postnote: By somber and severe subjects I think I mean depressing stuff. But if I was thinking at the time that cheery girls don't like serious topics, I take it back haha.)