Climb

"This wasn't here yesterday."

It's been said many times before... but the solution to some of our biggest problems is probably sleep.

"If I have lost confidence in myself, I have the universe against me." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Just come right out and say it."

"Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments."

"Sometimes I would like to ask God why He allows poverty, suffering, and injustice when He could do something about it."
"Well, why don't you ask Him?"
"Because I'm afraid He would ask me the same question." ~ Anonymous

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I was studying at a bench in S4 when an old acquaintance came down and sat next to me. It had been one and a half years since I'd seen him in HW111 class, and he was still as outspoken as ever; I had a test to study for, but in that moment it just seemed more meaningful to talk.

We ended up trading some rather social banter before settling on more serious topics, girls and careers. My acquaintance had developed quite the detailed perspective in his 3 years in university, the parts of which I either admired, conceded to, or could not agree with. I admired his willpower and his courage to take a lonelier path in university and focus on getting work experience. I agreed with his statements (though not his statistical projections) about how material things mattered significantly to girls. But I didn't really know what to say to his characterization of girls in university... It seemed sad.

I listened to him; he was eager to speak. Whether it was because of an innately talkative nature or because of.. loneliness, I do not know. I don't want to make any judgments about his level of self-awareness. It just felt to me that his words came from a place of injury, of bitterness. Maybe my innate sense of moral superiority was acting up as usual... But it seemed like he needed to protect his self. He seemed lonely, and perhaps I perceived this because loneliness had been a familiar emotion lately.

Whenever I feel the need to defend myself, my first reaction is to keep very still and restrict my actions. In the past few years I've learned to go beyond that and express my problems more openly, but that always carries with itself a risk; there isn't any certain outcome when you tell somebody how you feel.

I've also learned how to hate people unreasonably, solely for the reason that it just feels better at times. I've learned how to close the book on friendships that just don't seem to function anymore.

We keep our guards up to avoid getting hurt. We glance sideways to avoid confrontation. Faces, faces, we'll carry to the grave.

Trust, Faith, Hope, Love... A lot of the time, it seems like there can be no words more difficult or inscrutable than these. I wonder if Geoffrey Benjamin would call these things "bad faith" as well, just as he does religion. I wonder.

Every book I have closed has taught me something precious. Every finished story offers us something we can learn, even if we regret having to stop reading it. And the books that are still open, the blessings still fresh in my mind- all of these stories can spur us to keep reading on, to love to discover what happens on the next page... They'll teach us to love reading, if we can keep our minds and our hearts open to them.

At the end of the day, whether or not the result is conflict or connection, being together with people makes us stronger. So don't be a stranger. Tomorrow is coming.