Spiralling

There are some things in life that we just can't control, that get worse the harder we grip/hold (Post-note: grip? What the f*** am I doing.) on to them. Now that I'm experiencing the phenomenon that is Schrodinger's FYP, this fact has never been more clear to me. I worry day and night about what is going to happen, even at times when there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.

Dancing tonight, watching my instructor and my friends with their free spirits, I remembered that truth again. And I remembered how, in the midst of complete chaos, Jesus blessed me and the rest of us with a performance that exceeded our expectations. It wasn't perfect, but it made my heart swell with pride to see it in the videos. Nothing is impossible for him, I know that on a much deeper level than I did before. And if this time he wants me to face up to the consequences of my mistakes in the past semesters, I'm ready for it, because I believe that in the end, his mercy is greater than his discipline and judgment. I don't know how to follow, and I always sidetrack or fall away, but I believe that there is a way back if I can be blessed to follow him.