Bleak

Social solidarity of any sort is founded upon perceptions of shared common ground, similarity, and mutual stakes (a shared destiny). It's always made me think that any movements for social change and the empowerment of marginalized groups will always have to take into account how they plan to emphasize what the privileged have in common with the disenfranchised. Getting across the idea that we share the same fundamental human nature is important. In that sense the 'Grotesque'- that incomplete transformation, that in-between thing, that hybrid creature- is the key to forging new bonds of social solidarity between groups that originally may have had no affection or regard for one another. Two separate individuals come together and give birth to something new, something incomplete (and?) but wonderfully full of potential for growth. It saddens me then that not many people took Nigel's suggestion in class two weeks ago seriously. It was kind of shocking to find out that Nigel didn't take it that seriously either. Can't really tell if he was being frank with me at that point, though. Ah well. The stress of my highly incomplete FYP is getting to me. More than that, I feel bewildered by all this information that I'm reading that I can only half-accept. Life seems too large, too unknowable and too unconquerable these days. It's hard to keep track of what goes right and what goes wrong these days. Acknowledging that God saves, and that he is always doing good things in your life, is difficult too, in its own way... But actually it really isn't. You either follow his voice or you don't. This has and always will be a black and white world, appearing grey only because of terrible image resolution. I'm not sure if I'm doing right by him. Not sure if I'm going the right way. Actually no, I do know. I'm not going the right way. I've avoided Him and I've avoided all the serious questions in my life despite all the good things he has shown me recently, despite all the evil things that, by his hand, have ended up working for my good. Situations that I thought were so horrible and senseless became timely warnings of incoming danger, or gave me perspective on problems that seemed daunting at the time.
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The Silver Spoon Don't be myopic. Stare off into the distance. Look further to the dream that lies in the future.




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Getting anxious and frustrated has always caused me to feel corresponding physiological effects. Now I feel my knees getting a bit inflamed... Have to remember that the mind and the body are not separate things.

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Darkness then, and a pregnant moon
shadow on the minds of men