Ode to the Bad Boys (In response to 'Ode to the Nice Guys')

This is a tribute to the bad boys: The bad boys that make it first across the finish line, that get the girl, and pull it all off with nonchalance or panache (depending on how you're feeling that day).

This is for all the misunderstandings you've had to endure because people can't look past the outwardly devil-may-care behavior to see the deeply complex and conflicted, tortured but innately decent soul within. This is for all the times you've stood firmly by your own personal code of honor, even if it means looking bad to the passers-by who make snap judgments at a glance. This is for the effort you put into maintaining your slick hair and your impeccable dressing.

This is for all those moments when you arrived just in time to save the damsel-in-distress and punch the lights out of the guy harassing her (which we all know is what the sweet, sensitive, nice guy is statistically less likely to do). This is for all the collected calm you exude and the patience you display while she vacillates between picking you and the dependable, thoughtful nice guy. This is for all the girls you've saved from a life of boredom with the bespectacled, hesitant geek who's never sure of his footing.

This is for all the girls you've scored. Hot girls. Cute girls. Pretty girls. Shy girls. Noisy girls. Girls next door. MILFs. Cougars. Pumas. This is for all the effort and creativity you poured into learning new and pleasurable body positions.

This is for you, bad boys. Don't let the bad rep get you down.

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List of blog names thus far:

Dignified Catharsis:
An Open Diary With No Agenda!
Monologue Without End!
Madness to the Method!
No Skillz No Pillz
Slip of the Tongue
Platitudes with Attitude

skillz the pillz, nice the spice, knife the wife, beat the feat

When it comes to my uni friends, I think I'm cursed. Haha. The badminton outing failed. The island creamery outing failed twice. Even a walk in the treetop trail was hardly a walk in the park to plan and it too, failed in the end. I guess I'll just see you idiots when the term reopens. Hahaha.

The odd thing is that I'm still able to see plenty of them here and there. I met Marie and Mych 5 days ago at the band concert, I met Weili and Vithiya on the night of that same day. I saw Daph by chance at Plaza Singapura while she was preparing for her "lame play". Haha. And in the last two weeks, I bumped into Clara 3 times accidentally (Once at Vivocity, once at Ion Orchard, and once at Plaza Singapura). I think we like to hang out at a lot of the same places.

I think I need more star power to pull people in for big soci events like the ice cream trip. Note to self: Make more friends, tell more raucously funny social jokes (Note to self: Maybe my conception of a different category of jokes as social jokes has been too prejudiced.), dress better, and make my hair nicer next semester.

On the other friendship fronts, things have been mostly good. I've met my JC and secondary school friends plenty, spending copious amounts of time with them on certain days. I got to see Brendan and Yicheng after the longest time, and I've met up with some other newer friends as well.

Things have been going well, for the most part. Bronto's blog post did make me think a little though.

"I used to like going to Al Ameen, but somehow, after tonight, I don't think I like it so much anymore.
The conversations we had just keep revolving around the discussion about getting tattoos and smoking. Andre has finally quit smoking, good for him. Finally, he's doing this for himself. I'm proud of you, dre. Maybe it's the place, or maybe it's just us. We seem to have deteriorated. We haven't been doing anything together besides sitting and eating. I realize we can't just keep relying on old memories to keep friendships going. We need new ones, or we'd just be stagnant and living in the past."

I felt a little irritated reading this statement at first, but on reflection I realized how irrefutably true it is. New experiences enrich a friendship and breathe new life into it. Sitting down, eating, and catching up is fine, but doing new things together definitely adds spice to a relationship. Here I guess I'd like to apologize if I've ever pulled my feet on organizing holiday trips with any of you guys. Haha.

Here are some of the new experiences I've had this month with old friends:

Hanging out in Alex's new house/modern day palace/castle/fortress/CS map with everyone and playing poker on Saturdays.

L4D2. Lol. Zombieland. World War Z. Ninja Assassin- It's the month of the fanboy.

Chilling out with the JC guys (plus Diane). Slumming it out with Kader at SMU from 2.30am-6.15am.

Going upmarket with the Working Woman Wanyi Wendy Woo.




I've suddenly had the realization that when it comes to guy friends, be they from secondary school, jc, or army, the people I feel closest to are the ones I've slept together with... in the same room...

Ha. ah. ha. ha. ha.

Train your ninjutsu daily,

In university, I've found that I have a heart to study to find answers, and perhaps also a heart to be tested and fight for results... But a heart to learn about and understand the world... Still no answer to that. No pulse.

The next 5 semesters are about to begin. Last semester's exams left me with a feeling of cobwebs in my brain (and a distaste for Durkheim, that f***wit). They also made a strong impression on me, leading me to think that there is a perhaps a valuable distinction to be made between the words "studying" and "learning".

Just like it sometimes takes energy to be interested in listening to someone, it can also take effort to become truly interested in learning new things. It takes effort to put aside your own ego and opinion to hear what others have to say. It also takes effort to put aside the things we are so comfortable with (e.g.Pwning ppl at Dota, picking up girls at bars) to take an interest in new ones that we know little about.

My new year's resolution for this coming year is to become alive inside, to go from an interest in solving Durkheimian word puzzles and riddles to an interest in the world around me.

I'd also like to accomplish this while getting attached.

And without a drop in my gpa.

But I guess my main objective and my side objectives can meet somewhere down the middle.

I really hope my gpa doesn't drop this year, or I'll be mad at myself for for doing both 205 and 214 projects the night before the due date. And for possibly screwing up the last questions of each paper.

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I think I'm going to be brave and do HP102 next semester.

The maths will work different parts of my brain, and stave off potential Alzheimer's disease.

The Aftermath

On Thursday, after all my joyous meetings with friends, I went back home to rest. In the late evening, I called Mark and found out that everyone was meeting up at the Esplanade. Filled with a sudden desire to take the extra step and have yet another long-awaited meet-up, I took a taxi down to meet them.

Two hours later, we were once again suckered by Mark into a late-night L4D2 session.

At 3am, Mark took a cab home, while Kader and I decided that we didn't want to part with money for cab fare, and thus chose to lie down on the benches in SMU like vagrants.

At 5.15am, we walked down to Plaza Sing and bought some 7-11 food. I've never been so glad to see a 7-11 open before in my life.

At 6.15am, we took the train home.

... Ugh. Haha. I'm too old for this shit.

"Your Facebook account would be missing something if you didn't have Cass as a friend."

Rule #32: Enjoy the Little Things

"Pull a rabbit out of your hat, Allen. That's the secret... to both trial law and life." -Denny Crane in Boston Legal

Boston Legal warps your morality, distorts your sense of reality, perverts your mentality, and trivializes the law endlessly.

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I went to Malaysia with my PA (Public Announcement) group friends. There I watched Zombieland for the 2nd time (For $2.50), had a great meal in a restaurant for $7, and caused my aggro to skyrocket like mad. Not good. Haha.

Quotable Quote: "Take your anger out of this room."

Hahaha.

I learned an important lesson that I'd like to share with everyone: If you think you go to Malaysia often enough, you really don't.

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I had a long overdue meeting with Brendan and Yicheng at Vivocity today. We ate food at 'Japanese Gourmet Town' that tasted most odd... the taste was most disconcerting... it was unsettling, most unsettling... But anyway.

I'd been looking forward to meeting them for a long time, and it was definitely a great way to spend time, chatting and walking around. It's reassuring somehow to see that Yicheng's time overseas has not changed him much. We eventually talked about our time in FDS and had a great laugh about it. I'm worried that if that past surfaces, his relationship may end up on the rocks. Haha.

"I can't believe I forgot about my past in FDS." It would be a great waste if 'The Dragon' of FDS forgot those times. How is it that we remember people's lives better than we remember our own?

I also met Clara and Ai Peng while I was there. It was nice meeting so many familiar faces today. Haha.


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Good times

It's been great, getting some quality time to meet up with friends this holiday. I don't think I've ever treasured it as much up until now. These days, the month of December feels like a season for reunions. Haha.

I think the one thing I admire most about Aaron besides his character as a friend is his ability to tell stories. He's really good at recounting funny stories of the past, and I think that out of all my secondary school friends, he has the best memory of all the times we've shared.

Myself (Yes it's always going to come back to me, sorry folks.)? I am... not so good at remembering. The richness of the past is somewhat lost on me, and my memories are more verbal and logical than visual, haha. Even in Secondary school, my long-term memory was already mediocre, and somewhere along the line, I traded more brain space for short-term memory and madz Dota skillz. the pillz. But anyway.

I've always been of the opinion that we need our friends to remind us, explicitly or implicitly, of who we are and where we come from (sounds like the army, haha), of where our roots lie. These days, when it comes to meetings with friends, the only thing better than recounting all the good times we've had is making new memories with each other, with the full knowledge that they'll be added to a long and meaningful shared history. The best thing is to see people changing, even as they stay fundamentally the same.

Here's to you, my prospective heterosexual life partners.

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Hey guys. I know you all assume I'm a shy and reserved young man, but I guess it's time I come clean.

In reality, I live a double life. By day, I am Benjamin Moey, mild-mannered budding sociologist with a love for books and Japanese food.

By night however, my other friends know me as Maynard, an amoral Casanova whose only love is women in all shapes and sizes. Unlikely as it seems, I use a combination of ruthless cunning, a glib tongue, and my boyish good looks to flatter and seduce ladies to the point that they pay for my lunches and clothes and do who knows what else for me. Maynard's only aim is to test the limits of his ability to juggle multiple women at a time, both literally and figuratively (Okay that last part is really crossing the line of wtf).

So now you know. Stop jacking me for being unattached. Lol.

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I'm in my element whenever I feel calm and tranquil. I think I could go for long periods at a time without exhilaration or trying new things. Routine and repetition work for me, which is not to say that I'm not open-minded to new experiences. I think I'm generally willing enough to explore new worlds... Date new women. Ha. ha. ha. ha. Ha. ...

But I think, just once in a while, I'd like to know what it feels like to ride the storm, to feel the thrill of crossing danger swiftly and surely, just like they do in the movies. It seems like I always have to trip and fall down, badly, before I can even achieve a semblance of a good showing. I had to screw up damn badly at the Q n M, and go back to work for one more month before I could do a job that I was proud of (That day felt pretty good, actually). I had to screw up army damn badly too, before I could finally become... passable (at best), haha. I made some really big-time screw-ups with friendships in the past, and only now can I fully treasure the ones that I've been blessed to have, and find it in myself to do my best to maintain and nurture them each step of the way.

But even after all the big life-changing screw-ups have occurred, I continue to make middle-sized screw-ups in my day-to-day life. And some of them do stay with me, especially if it involves friends or people I look up to. I remember Chef Patrick yelling at me in Q n M. I remember Hall life, the wrong decisions I made, and the consequences that followed.

I especially remember Army. Okay, the 'bowing' ceremony and the 'guard duty first blood' were just plain hilarious. But I remember other things too, things that are just a little too embarrassing to write about. I remember how terribly slow and inept I was at the beginning. I remember how bad I was at stuff involving strings and ropes (Fuck ropes, seriously. And fuck boxes that need assembling from scratch. Whoever came up with these things should be hanged... With ropes...). There were some moments to be proud of, I suppose, but the bad moments stuck with me just as much. I especially remember how my bunk buddy ended up having to tie my helmet netting for me, and how he tried to hide his annoyance, haha (That helmet netting remains in fine shape to this day, haha. Of course, my unit training was very tame).

I'm not particularly proud of my army life. I am proud of the people I met in my unit, and I'm not terribly ashamed of the job I had then, because I honestly feel it was meaningful work that I was given to do, and because there were meaningful things to be learned from that job. It's just that I wasn't a terribly proficient RP (Yes, there is such a thing as a proficient RP, FDS-RP!!! haha). I had, and still have, a lack of discipline.

But even then, there were good days and there were bad days. It was a place for me to grow, in one way or another... The thing that I've always wished I could change... was my time in BMT. I've always wished that I could've been a more reliable bunk buddy. Haha. Even though I do feel I became a bit more reliable at the end, I always regretted not being... strong enough to be a source of support. I also wish I hadn't been so stressed out all the time, so I could enjoy and remember the experience more. Luckily though, we remained friends in spite of that ordeal, haha.

Alex's Dad was best trainee, and Alex turned out to be best PT and Company best as well, haha. It was nice to listen to how his Dad talked about how proud he was of his son, in few and simple words. It made me think of my Dad a little. He was from OCS and I was an RP. I'm not... ... But for a moment, I did wonder, "Have I given him things to be proud of?"

If you're happy and you know it...

Sylvia's in and Tabby is out. What a bittersweet results show it was.

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"A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

My favorite part of a relaxing day is that moment when, while you're doing nothing in particular, a tune suddenly pops up in your head, and you start to sing to it.

It feels comforting, singing/humming to tunes like these, because sometimes it feels like you're expressing something that comes from deep within your heart, something that you're not consciously aware of, be it joy or sadness.

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Sun Tze once wrote of 5 elements key to the art of war, two of which are Heaven (tian) and Earth (di). 'Heaven' refers to the ability to discern signs and seasons, knowing the right time to attack, encamp, or retreat. 'Earth' refers to one's knowledge of measurements, knowing how to measure distances, weights, army size, upkeep requirements, and various other numerically quantifiable elements.

Dota is a good example for illustrating this... Okay no one wants to hear me talk about Dota here... For the sake of my next paragraph, just imagine that I wrote some deep and insightful things about knowing when and where to attack in the game.

Anyway... During these past 9 days, I've been more productive on some days and abominably, abhorrently, intolerably indolent on others. It's made me come to think about decision making. We've got to know what's good for us and what's not, and make decisions based on that. That's all we have to do.

At this point in my life, do I know what's good for me and what's not? If we're talking about people, then I guess I can safely say that I have improved vastly in this regard. I don't follow people as blindly or give the benefit of the doubt as unthinkingly as before.If it's about computer games, I'd once again say I've improved, somewhat. I still get hooked, but there's a stopping point now, and I can prioritize my life properly and not run to games to shelter myself my reality.

But what about life in general? What about the future? I'm... still really clueless. Haha. I don't know how to make good decisions concerning my personal growth. It's easier to spend my time playing or relaxing or meeting friends than it is to sit down and really plot the course of my life. Well, at least I know what makes me really happy now. That's a step. But I'm 22 now. It's become a topic I have to shy away from, especially when talking with people in church.

I'm not entirely displeased with the way I spent this semester (Other than the abysmally arrogant way in which I approached my project work)... I did a lot of the things I always said I would do. I drove, I danced, I wrote, and I think I spent just the right amount of time catching up with friends. I also think that I spent an appropriate amount of time on my studies, though that effort might not be reflected in my final grades (Shit, have to be more focused on projects next semester).

I want to come away from this holiday period, able to tell myself that I've spent it well and that I'm going in the right direction.

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As you get older, it gets easier to perceive confidence or the lack of it. It's easier to look at people and notice if they're feeling confident or uneasy. They're no longer just 'that way' or 'perpetually shy or moody'. It's also easier to detect uneasiness and fear in yourself. Sometimes it amplifies itself the more you think about it. Confidence is a big part of the puzzle of life (granted, the puzzle for a middle-class, overly comfortable slacker in a postindustrial, low-crime, first-world country may be a little different from that of people in less fortunate countries).

Confidence, momentum, and the ability to go with the seasons... It's so important in work, long-distance running, life, and especially fighting games. Especially fighting games. And maybe love, too.

I'm sleepy.

my ninjutsu is strong

Five minutes ago, I was hungry and so I went down to open the fridge. Unfortunately, I tripped the lights and had to go back up for my handphone so that I could flip the circuit breakers. After turning on the lights, I opened the fridge door and was immediately tempted by a package of wrapped smoked salmon.

I took it out, and cut out a slice of pumpkin bread. I then struggled to open the salmon package, only to find out that I needed a scissors. I procured a pair of scissors, and I sliced open the plastic. Triumphantly, I used my knife to poke at the salmon in order to lift it, but found that I could not do so because the salmon itself was wrapped with even more plastic.

I started unraveling the plastic, getting hungrier with every passing moment. One layer of plastic came off, and I jabbed at the salmon once more, but was blocked by yet another layer of plastic. I continued unraveling the plastic until 4 layers had been unraveled.

WTF.

The salmon tasted delicious though.

There was a news report today about Japan's use of farm-grown tuna to meet demand for sashimi. Apparently, the world's taste for raw fish is rapidly depleting fish populations in various parts of the globe.

Hmmm. That is most worrying.

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Lately I've been reading World War Z(ombie) and playing L4D2. On Thursday, I'm planning to watch Zombieland. It's an overdose, to say the least.

Reading the fictional accounts of people in the fictional zombie post-war made me realize that if a zombie apocalypse ever occurred, I would be completely screwed. I have a bare minimum of real life skills. Well, at least I can fire a gun. That's gotta count for something.

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I've watched Up. I've read through two books. I've been driving regularly. I've even done some exercise. But it's not quite enough. Haha. This holiday is not being spent well enough. Meh.

Ah yes, and a warm welcome to my newest reader =) Hope you can ameliorate my blogging technique. Okay that didn't make sense but I just wanted to use the word ameliorate because it sounds so much like Amellia. Ho. Ho. Ho. *Cold breeze passes.