Birthday, Sentosa

I'm at a loss for words to describe how I feel about my birthday party. Speechless out of embarrassment about wearing pink spider undies in a posh restaurant, speechless from seeing so many of my closest friends gathered in one place, speechless from getting a most unexpected cake smashing... The only thing I'm not speechless about is all the cool stuff you guys gave me! Haha. I really appreciate the wallet, bag, shoes, and especially the extremely unglamorous portrayal of me in the poster. *tear drop.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Sentosa today was quite fun. I'm a bit disappointed to find that I'm not as immune to the sun as I thought I was. Skin cancer is a depressing thought. We played frisbee, followed by volleyball, and finally soccer in the sand. The only sad thing is that we were all noobs, with the exception of Sharon. Haha. But I think there was some improvement in volleyball after many desperate attempts. I met a fellow soci mate called Clement and its rather a bit irritating how he strongly reminds me of someone I know but can't quite place =/ I hope some amount of sociology solidarity was formed today. Haha.

The clown is chasing for the king's crown... But will the fit be right?

An hour has passed and I have not started on my readings.

The World Ends with You

'The World Ends With You' is the most complete game that I've played in awhile. It has fun and challenging gameplay, a soundtrack that immerses you into the game, a decent plot, memorable characters, as well as a coherent, well-designed atmosphere and visual style. It offers both depth and breadth and can entice you to play for hours on end. Even better is the fact that the game gives you very tangible rewards for pacing your playing as stat-building and some types of experience points require a period of resting from your DS.

The setting is heavily influenced by pop culture, and the references are surprisingly accurate and entertaining. There are also tons of awesome catch phrases, haha. The gameplay is very unique and well-thought out. It's a leans more to being a light, accessible game, but is nonetheless challenging and entertaining for even hardcore players.

It's hard to point out flaws in gameplay because there aren't that many games to compare it to. I can only say that this game knows what it wants to be, something you don't see so often these days. Good stuff.

Pandora's blog

It's a term I've coined to describe the blog of a particular person that is your acquaintance, but whom you are very interested to get to know better. Often this person will be of the sex... (or gender) (must be very careful when using these terms now) (since sexual attraction may be just as much abt gender as it is abt sex) (I should stop now)... that you are attracted to. In some circumstances, it could simply be someone you find to be very interesting, in a platonic way. The reference to Pandora's box is made to show the similarities of unintended, negative consequences between the two, the worst of which is the creation of a false sense of understanding of, and kinship to the person... Not that I would know this from personal experience, of course =/ of course.

I hope my new term will catch on. By that I'll have proof that I actually do exist somewhere near the center of the universe...

...I just googled pandora's blog. Someone named Pandora has a blog. And it's... gross. Hmmm. The fact that I opened it and suffered from viewing the contents is rather ironic, isn't it?



I've almost finished getting all my overdue entries into order. Haha. Intensive revision will start tomorrow... I just read an article in the papers that disturbs me somewhat. Hmmm. I'll keep my eyes open to see what can be done. Haha.

Chain letters look like great fun.

moety grins.

"There are only two tragedies in life - one is not getting what you want, and the other is getting it." - Yuri Orlov

Uncle Djengot Bandung. Enough said.


During cell, Jemma talked about a friend who underwent a 180 degree personality change within a month of entering university. People who've had deep feelings of discontentment can make the choice to change their entire outer appearance, and it's made so much easier by the fact that there are so few people from your past to remind you of the way you were before. It's surprisingly simple for you to shape yourself into your conception of a socialite, a wild guy, a gentleman, or an intellectual.

In HS101, we're learning about the 'looking glass self' concept by Charles Horton Cooley. The concept has three components: 1. We imagine how we must appear to others. 2. We imagine their judgment of that appearance. 3. A subsequent feeling of self-pride or mortification (which can be a basis for change).

I think what we discussed agrees with this concept. The perceived judgments of people we have known for a long time will seem to us to be several shades more constant and unchangeable than those of newly-made acquaintances. There's considerably less worry of being seen as superficial by newly-made acquaintances who have had no prior experience with you. The avenue is open for you to release whatever deep-seated desires or resentments that you had, and these feelings can end up as the foundation for startling, shocking transformations.

I think that it would be sort of scary to watch a friend change this way, as if his/her outer appearance were to peel away, revealing a totally new person. I don't exactly think it's shallow; these changes are coming from a place of genuine feelings. Whether it is good for a person to embrace such a massive change without keeping some of the old, I do not know. A person who could do that would probably need to be immensely dissatisfied with his past. I think what feels so alienating is that these friends never shared all these feelings with us, or that we never bothered to look closely enough.

I know I feel it somewhat, the desire to shove some parts of my old self into a storeroom. I'd want to shove the low standards I set for myself, the lack of discernment, the near-complete obliviousness to my surroundings, the tendency to overuse self-deprecating humor, to overthink, and the aversion to direct conflict. But while I definitely feel that I'll be a better person for it, I know some things that I treasure will disappear with these parts of me. Sometimes I'm a bit worried that I'll become somebody that my friends won't recognize anymore... Hopefully we'll be able to continue on together, acknowledging each others' changes (good changes, especially), as well as reminding each other about why we first came to like one another...

I think that I became less reclusive after going through army and through cell group. In army I met so many great friends who were different from myself in many ways. Even now I can't full connect with their way of thinking, but I've never once been able to think of them as anything other than sincere. I'm not sure that I can put it into words... being there with them in SBAB has changed me in ways that I'm only now beginning to comprehend. I guess they made me more willing to trust people more quickly, for one thing.

Uni has been great so far. Hall is enjoyable. I like what I'm studying (some things I'll say about this in my next entry.), and I'm having a great time with the company I have in soci as well. However, during the past few weeks, something felt wrong and I couldn't quite put my finger on it...

I think I expressed it inadvertently during cell group. Now it's become much clearer to me (funny that I should get this insight from reading manga, haha). It's about the way that I talk to people. At first I thought it was something along the lines of talking too much and listening too little. Then i realized it was something more than that since I talked this much with my non-uni friends too. Hmmm. I'm being quite vague. Haha.

I guess I'd put it down to being too quick to open up to the friends I've met. I don't feel doubtful or anxious about talking with them. On one hand, they are friendly and fun to be with (If any of you are reading this, i'm being honest k. haha). On the other hand, I feel like I'm not really putting myself on the line as I talk to them.

I've given some thought to why this might be, and a recent event came to mind. I'd only considered the positive effects of it, especially since what I took away from that time was reaffirmed by the pastor's message that Wan Ling shared, which was about how Christian identity is founded on God's love for us (and should not be based on successes/failures or even nobler things like friendship). I thought that I'd simply become more confident in myself, but in another sense, perhaps I had also stopped caring so much about what other people thought about me. That would explain why I can talk in such a carefree manner. There's a difference between being carefree due to trust and being carefree due to a disregard for the outcome of one's actions.

There's a difference between not being overly affected by others' opinions, and having some deeply embedded distrust of people which leads to apathy... I'm glad that I read this week's 'Liar Game' because it described doubt not as the opposite of trust, but as the feeling we encounter as we try to get to know and trust others. I'm gonna make sure I don't take anything for granted, and start doubting everybody, haha =)

'It's Easy to Remember' -Stacey Kent

Your sweet expression the smile you gave me
The way you looked when we met
It's easy to remember so hard to forget


I hear you whisper I always love you
I know it's over and yet
It's easy to remember but oh so hard to forget
So I must dream to have your hand caress me fingers press me tight
I'd rather dream than have that lonely feeling stealing through the night
Each little moment is clear before me
And though it brings me regret
It's easy to remember but so hard to forget


So I must dream to have your hand caress me fingers press me tight
I'd rather dream than have that lonely old feeling stealing through the night
Each little moment is clear before me
And though it brings me regret
It's easy to remember and so hard to forget

Read beneath the underneath =)

Ya got me. Haha. Though Ma Maison fudged the execution, it was still a brilliant plan that left two idiots stunned =/ nice conspiracy game, lol.

Thanks.

The food at the yakitori place was nice, albeit somewhat overpriced... All things considered, it was pretty fun. I hope Tim enjoyed himself much.

I've been complaining about the most petty things of late. It was plain wrong of me la, haha.

Reverted to the rhyming game.

Don't you think the pope is dope, walking a tightrope, trying to cope between raising people's hopes, making sure they don't mope, about priests and how the people they grope? The people gripe, the kids' age ain't ripe, for this type of behavior. The pope tries to wipe clean the church's slate, abate the rate of growing hate, before it's too late

An evoker of enmity, dealing discord, designing dissension, composing contention, sowing strife, meting out malice.

Waiting on the World to Change

They're now selling canned Bandung at the hall 14 canteen! Hehehe.

Scarce time

I've always assumed that J.R.R. Tolkien referred to Saruman as 'Saruman of Many Colours' because 'Many Colours' was a metaphor for the subtle nature of evil. Similarly, Gandalf is 'Gandalf the White' and 'White' represents goodness...

So was there a reason that Gandalf was 'Gandalf the Grey' before he became 'Gandalf the White' after his battle with the Balrog?


I have a lot of things to write about, but there's so little time =(

"Looks like we're destined by fate to only brush by one another." Kenichi, Chp 122 pg 8

At the back of my mind

It's clearer to me now what people mean when they talk about how constricting the Singapore education system is. University assignments seem to be much more open-ended, but there's always this nagging voice at the back of my mind, asking me questions like, "What types of logic are acceptable to the markers?" or "How do they want me to write this?" If it's a HW101 summarizing exercise, we tend to ask, "How many words?" if the limit is not specified.

Sucks.

Disillusionment.

The French method of counting from 1 to a 100 is insane. INSANE.

I can't believe that 20% of my marks for one module will be decided by my ability to use words like 'because', 'unlike', and 'similarly, in order to display 'rhetorical patterns' in a 200-250 word essay. Sigh...

When acquaintances become friends...

I'm in hall now while geoffrey's lecture is going on. I was riding Bus C on my way to the South Spine when I suddenly realized that I had absolutely no recollection as to whether or not I had locked the door to my room. I thought about it and decided the risks of not checking outweighed the benefits of attending lecture, and so I sat on the bus till it made a full circle back to my hall stop.

And upon my return, I found the door locked. (Edit!)

Well, I guess it'll be good to catch up on all the other things I've been putting off for some time =/

I'm reading this book called 'Debating the Good Society' by Andrew Bard Schmookler. It's a fictional account of the discussions of a group of internet forum users about what constitutes good (or if there is even such a thing in the first place), and each participant comes from a different perspective: Liberal or conservative, naturalistic or religious. They express their opinions using personal experience, observations of contemporary trends, and/or by referring to examples from history... I think I'll buy it if I see it in stores...

I'm reading 'History's strongest disciple Kenichi'. Simple and charming. Might start on 'Soul Eater' soon...