Sunday, November 30, 2008

Heartrending Mindbending

"A woman's best make-up is her smile."-Some Japanese show, maybe an anime

I just found out that D.Gray Man's mangaka is a woman. It does explain a lot of things: The saccharine sweet bond between Allen and Lenalee, the pretty boy main characters, the serious tones of the story... There's something very different about it from other shonen manga... I wish it would stop being on hiatus. Haha.

When it is not abused or taken out of context, the idea that the truth sets you free is, well, true...

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Excuse me, I'm looking for Nirmala Purushotam...

Nice books are always there waiting for you to come back. Nice clothes are always threatening to run away on someone's back. I realize that I'm more of an impulse shopper than otherwise. My brain's circuitry starts to meltdown if I get obsessed with a particular something. But that's why friends are there to pull you back from the precipice. Lol.

Except for my family, I've been pretty much alone for the whole day. There were no highlights to this day other than the $40 vest I bought (which I shall have to buy a shirt to wear with... and maybe pants. oh shit.). I didn't have any strong idea what I'd wear with it, but it's exactly the kind of thing I've been looking for. I still haven't booked my tp though. Bah. Humbug. I've started reading Terry Brook's Shannara series. It's good in terms of description, though it was so slow moving I couldn't get past the first seven pages. Haha. Dragonlance is still the best to me, but Shannara will still be good learning. Thanks again for the gift dudes =)

It's pretty amazing, the ability to not stop talking and say nothing important for years on end. I realize that when I'm done being angry, I just end up feeling amused. Hah.

The three gifts I got: High irritation threshold, waiting, and the ability to keep my mouth shut... Good stuff, no doubt.

The week has passed slowly enough so I don't think I've wasted it or anything.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Split down the middle

Being ordinary really isn't something to be afraid of. Ordinary love keeps hearts warm. Ordinary kindness transforms lives. Ordinary duties keep people safe and sound.

The only thing ordinary to be scared about is an ordinary salary. Lol. I'm feeling that more and more, haha. Oh, mmm and ordinary, thoughtless dota builds.

I hope you'll be out of this rut someday soon... Maybe then... Haha I won't kid myself. Maybe nothing.





"Bearing the standard of love on the battlefield"- D.Gray Man front cover

Bearing the standard of your beliefs...

End of the Line

Day 7: Sun, saltwater, semi-seafood sandwiches. Volleyball, Frisbee, Sand Soccer, Captain's Ball.

Going to the beach is a life-draining, but nonetheless fun experience. We played quite a few different kinds of games, though the one we stuck the longest with was volleyball, perhaps because it involved less running than the other =/ There was some slight rain in the afternoon but it passed over quickly enough, giving us some rather cooling weather in the middle. I guess we were a bit more prepared this time round with food and drinks that cost considerably less than the $3 bottles of water at Sentosa =/

Don't put people into boxes. Don't live in one yourself.

That's the end of my post exam week. Now what to do for the rest of the month...

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Mishmash Hodgepodge melting pot

Day 7: Did nothing constructive. Did some writing. Played a little piano. Played Halo 3.

I bought my copy of the Omnivore's Dilemma for S$24 in the US, and they're selling it here at S$32. That makes me happy somewhat.

An ACS (Independent) boy apparently committed suicide because his parents did not approve of him switching CCA from Track and Field to Drama. Oh precious life.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Small Talk and Big Words

Day 6: Went shopping with mych and clara. Bought a new jacket. Met some soci peeps at timbre for a bit. Played the gifting game, scrabble, jenga, and guess it express it at mind cafe! Lost clubbing virginity! Saw Aaron at the club but he was a bit too deep in.

For one more day, for one more chance, wistful words of the half-hearted hopeless.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

An Unwavering Heart

Day 5: Cut out 1 month's worth of newspaper articles. Played one game of dota. Ate lunch with mom and ash. Opened my eyes wide. Slept. Ate a delicious dinner. Acquired a new pair of specs!

End Day 5

Oh I just remembered something important. Almost forgot. Whew.

D.Gray Man 179 refuses to come out. It's most unsettling.

Sometimes you get what you don't deserve, haha.

I have a light in my eyes and a spring in my step. So many challenges, problems problems, but the one I'm procrastinating the most about is driving. Haha. I guess it'll be BBDC for the win. I need to stop being such a road hazard. lol.

The stage is set for the counter-culture attack to begin. One black jester and one crowned clown will give a certain school a badass schooling.

I can't find the erm... stationery. Would help me look for it?

Black-eyed and seeing stars.

Live by faith and not by sight. I feel a little more ready now.

I'm writing so many one liners now. But I guess rehabilitation from Word Challenge takes time. lol.

Monday, November 24, 2008

The morning after

Sometimes it takes awhile for things to hit you.

Unstable material

Day 3: Went to church. Talked a bit with the PA crew people. Played 3 games of DOTA. Got my hair cut. Reserved a jacket/sweater at Zara.

End Day 3

Day 4: Basketball in the morning with youngest bro. Engaged in strenuous cycling with the losers and subsequently became a road hazard. Rushed back home, bathed, and went to cell.

End Day 4


Heartless.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Day 2

Start Day 2: Moved out of hall. Manipulated into watching Quantum of Solace for the second time. Found no solace in it. Talked cock.

M: Is life a beach or a bitch?
B: Life's a beach, bitch.
M: Life's like a bitch on the beach.
B: ...Nice.


End Day 2

Moral of the Day: Exercise is important to a man.

Friday, November 21, 2008

End of Day 1

Played Word Challenge till my fingers hurt. I'm quitting now. It's starting to impair my speech. Lol.

Played basketball at night.

Ate Jap curry rice, pepperidge farm cookies, hello panda, big mac, fries, and noodles from 11pm to 4am.

Watched Whose Line Is It Anyway and DMC with the black jester.

Day 2 begins.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Cyaz. Lolz. Ciaoz. Hahaz. Spaz.

I'm almost at the finish line!

List of post-exam activities: 14hr dota session, shopping for new clothes, Kbox, badminton, sentosa, writing, newspaper cuttings, meeting up with various people, basketball, running, swimming, reading Terry Brooks' books, re-reading old books, working for spare cash, losing my clubbing virginity...

I should've taken psych in another sem... It really is quite interesting.. I just didn't have the time to study it in depth this sem... Haha ah well.

I'm looking forward to some time away from the books to get some perspective on what I should do next year... Scrambling to finish articles, having semi-productive brain-melting study/talk cock sessions, diversions into jap restaurants and jeans stores, and uni life in general has left me with little time to think about the direction I should take in school, church, and personal interests...

Haha sadly I think I get contented too easily. The people I've met in uni are so full of nonsense, heh, and everyday life becomes too comfortable. Life's been very good to me all this time, though it does take time for me to see the big picture. I guess... I really haven't been giving back as much I could... and yet I can't say that I don't enjoy what I'm studying now. Haha I think I need to get some consultation with Harry to figure where I should go from here. Well, at least now I'm very clear about certain things that I want to achieve apart from school matters. Hmmm. What progress.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

The medium is the message

"The medium is the message" was a cryptic-sounding end note that our HS102 tutor Harry left for us at the end of class one day. Well... I wiki-ed it (how academic), heh, and the what came up was a description of the idea and the name of its author. Basically its about implicit and underlying messages that within different kinds of media. However, the other websites that I checked failed to give any concrete example to illustrate what it meant.

I had a couple of thoughts about it last night. I think that two words that describe some of digital (or electronic) media's underlying messages would be 'perspective' and 'presentation'. Thinking about the way the media is able to portray perfect images and misrepresent society (either through censorship or by tugging on our heartstrings and distracting us from details) made me wonder about whether I and the people around me are being shaped in ways that we don't give much thought to.

Is the 'perfect image' an idea that is becoming more and more dominant in our minds?
More than perfect presentations of physical beauty, I wonder about the perfect characters and personalities that we follow in our television shows and comic books.
Characters on TV always have some points of their personality emphasized over others. The Dark Knight doesn't showcase Bruce Wayne eating his three meals a day but tells the story of his stand against crime and his unwillingness to compromise on his integrity. The ideal enchants us, and in our actions and thoughts we shape ourselves to becoming more like him. Yet, with any good ideal, there will be those who truly bear its standard and those who knowingly or unknowingly wear it as an outer covering.

Representations of everyday life in the media are what worry me a lot. I believe that if artists were given more free reign, there would be more nuanced and realistic stories out there for our viewing (pleasure?) consideration today. However, stories undergo a lot of censorship from corporations (viewer ratings) and governments (government policy. Liberalism/Conservatism, Birth rates, the list goes on). We end up with stories that focus on only a few dimensions of romantic life or everyday life (Note to self: How is this similar to the idea of single-strandedness?), and I just think that we end up with unrealistic expectations and doubts about ourselves as we try to conform to these seemingly realistic character traits... Hmmm. Okay just to clarify I'm not dealing with any repressed issues of identity here. Haha. I think that it is causing our view of others to become too simplified.


I believe that, in general, exposure to media has made us more adept in the way that we present ourselves... It's harder to know what is at the bottom of a person's heart. I think we're starting to know ourselves less and less too. Self-help books promote positive uses of self-imagery and self-fulfilling prophecies, but do lasting changes result? ... We can believe in that power to change ourselves through conscious regulation of thoughts and actions... I do believe in change from within and without, and sociology has been hammering in the idea of change from without into me for 4 months now. Haha... Certainly the wish to be better is very real, perhaps just as important as 'existing' as a person with apparently good thoughts and actions. Even when we know we don't have the right feelings or perfect, ideal motivations, we should still go ahead and do what we think is right (even though we know there is something in it for us too), because withholding a good deed for not having 'right motivations' is just another form of narcissism, obsession with the way one looks to one's self. Even if we don't have right thoughts, we can still choose to act out what we think is right, and pray to God to change our hearts.

Yet while I admire the ideals and standards of my storybook heroes and my friends around me, I can't help but think that a quick tongue, a disarming smile, and perhaps even congruity of actions and conscious thinking can belie a lack of... truth deep within... I guess it's just a part of life that we'll never fully know ourselves or others.

I guess we'll never really know till seasons of trials and tribulations arrive... I wasn't ready to drive... Maybe I'm not ready to be good at sociology either... But today's sermon really spoke to me in so many ways and about so many different things that it overwhelmed me. Maybe the unexpected happenings on the day before HS102 was God's way of showing me how many more ways there were to approaching the topic and how narrow-minded I was being. Or maybe he was just telling me that I got too cocky and slacked off near the end. Haha. Either way, I'll be pro some term soon, because as our great leader LKY always says, it's all in your genes. Bwahahahahahaha.

Pontius Pilate once said, "What is truth?" ... So what is it? Is it simply just fact? "You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free" is from John 8:32... I don't have any conclusions, but right now, if I could liken truth to a mirror from which we can see ourselves, then people can use broken pieces of that truth to cut people... But the fact is that I'm still seeing what I want to see regarding some situations. Somehow I feel comforted that I haven't lost sight of that, and yet sad that is has to be this way.



Note: Declarations and Proclamations. The Best Things are Left Unsaid.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Purushotam! Purushotam!

I find the extent to which the institution of HDB housing has affected our lives to be so large that it's almost horrifying. Haha. Sick.

40% complete. With every uncertain step...

Studying HS101 has been an enriching experience. It's even changed my perspective on life somewhat. Now, what should I do with all that information if I don't want to leave it collecting dust in a corner of my mind? And what should I do with all this french knowledge? Mmm.

Even if you're enough of a wise-ass to write out revelations on your blog, you're still no further from ending up as the villain of the piece.

Today I've become thick-skinned and thick-skulled all at once, totally by accident. Haha. I've been branded by many brands =/ mmm. but at least now I have some greater measure of peace. Meh.



It's great that you act as bait, trying to abate the rate of hate growing of late, between mates who just wait and leave it to fate, it's a really nice trait.

Clowns who can't get their act together will end up singing the same sad songs... Laugh and make laughter, or lose your head.

Thursday, November 06, 2008

Don't lose your way, with each passing day

"Each to each a looking glass,
Reflects the other that doth pass."
-Charles Horton Cooley

Walks in NTU are always cooling and relaxing. They're always a time of stillness and peace for me. The weather I had during my walk back this evening was absolutely divine and indescribably tranquil.

I've been studying late into the night for the past two days. Haha. It's less suffocating and dreary than my hall, though I only get a unimpressive amount of work done because of all the music sharing, crap talking, discussions, and staring competitions that occur. The walk back at 1am is good for reflection.

I had a lot of thoughts, but they seem to have dissolved away. It's possible that I only see what I want to see. Haha. The revelation I had this morning really tickled me. I can't decide whether I am more relieved or amused with myself.

Here's a thank-you note to Sharon Leong for her good deed of passing me Diana Ross's 'If We Hold On Together'! Haha the nostalgia is bubbling inside me :)

Monday, November 03, 2008

3 Leaves.

What an interesting thing we saw in the S4 corridor today. It makes me wonder. Haha.

Is anyone reading this the person who had a pen and a pair of itchy hands?

Saturday, November 01, 2008

Eye-openers

Became a Lvl 1 Paintballer.

Bore witness to depravity in both anime and everyday life.

Ate pesto pasta with fish.