Quality; Recognition

An evil man with discipline is still, at the end of the day, a disciplined man.










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Discourse, jadedness, ignorance, learn to accept the key messages of the reading without harping too much on expression

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Note to self:

The key component to writing a story is lying down on your bed and imagining it.

The key component to writing a good story is to keep asking yourself what it is essentially about.

The key component to writing a great story is talking to as many people as you can about it.

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A response I saw on Yahoo news about the coming elections:

"I am a Singaporean and resident of Holland/BT. Due to my income level and my chosen place of residence, I do not benefit much from workfare, GST credit, utilities rebates, HDB upgrading. I am not unhappy with these policies because I am comforted that some of the taxes I paid is funnelled to the less priveleged. I do not have issue with the security of my neighbourhood because I trust that Singaporeans are peace loving and law abiding citizens. However I do have issue with some of the policies that our government has implemented over the years and I am listing them here:-

CPF-This is my money. I am capable of managing my money myself and do not see a need for my money to be tied up in some annuity scheme. I feel insulted that our government made a broad sweep and treat me and all its people like children who are incapable of managing our money.

HDB-This started out as an ideal platform to house our people. The intention was good when it started but it has now evolved into a tool to enslave our people. Its a good way to ensure a person toe the line especially when he is chained to a financial shackle for the next 30 years of his life.

ERP-Having a way to tame traffic congestion is good but when paying money does not solve the congestion problem, then its objective becomes a pure money spinning vehicle.

Casino-This is the lowest we as a nation stoop to make money. Our morals have gone down the drain when we put money above everything else. Citing survival is a lame excuse to mask greed.

Before I end, I want to include our national pledge below:-

We, the citizens of Singapore,
pledge ourselves as one united people,
regardless of race, language or religion,
to build a democratic society
based on justice and equality
so as to achieve happiness, prosperity and
progress for our nation.

I intend to cast my vote to a party that uphold our national pledge. That everyone is equal and happiness precedes properity and progress.I am a Singaporean and resident of Holland/BT. Due to my income level and my chosen place of residence, I do not benefit much from workfare, GST credit, utilities rebates, HDB upgrading. I am not unhappy with these policies because I am comforted that some of the taxes I paid is funnelled to the less priveleged. I do not have issue with the security of my neighbourhood because I trust that Singaporeans are peace loving and law abiding citizens. However I do have issue with some of the policies that our government has implemented over the years and I am listing them here:-

CPF-This is my money. I am capable of managing my money myself and do not see a need for my money to be tied up in some annuity scheme. I feel insulted that our government made a broad sweep and treat me and all its people like children who are incapable of managing our money.

HDB-This started out as an ideal platform to house our people. The intention was good when it started but it has now evolved into a tool to enslave our people. Its a good way to ensure a person toe the line especially when he is chained to a financial shackle for the next 30 years of his life.

ERP-Having a way to tame traffic congestion is good but when paying money does not solve the congestion problem, then its objective becomes a pure money spinning vehicle.

Casino-This is the lowest we as a nation stoop to make money. Our morals have gone down the drain when we put money above everything else. Citing survival is a lame excuse to mask greed.

Before I end, I want to include our national pledge below:-

We, the citizens of Singapore,
pledge ourselves as one united people,
regardless of race, language or religion,
to build a democratic society
based on justice and equality
so as to achieve happiness, prosperity and
progress for our nation.

I intend to cast my vote to a party that uphold our national pledge. That everyone is equal and happiness precedes properity and progress."

Keep calm. Carry on.

Stress is just energy looking for a direction.

So get over yourself. Keep calm. Carry on.




HZ301 officially ended today. I wouldn't say that I've had a blast all the way through, but it was definitely worth the time spent for all the exposure to issues of technique that it provided.


2 down, 1 to go.

Today's moral of the story: Many people actually love ambiguity.

Sign 1: Mom's statement about being able to write one-liners loaded with meaning.

Sign 2: The Saga of the Sugar Lion.

Note to self: Master all four elements if you wish to defeat the Fire Lord.

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He is not a merciless God. If he had wanted it, it would've ended then. But he's pulled me through, time and time again.

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Never lose sight of the essence of your story.

Urban Myths

un·friend·ly

–adjective

1.

not amicable; not friendly or kindly in disposition; unsympathetic; aloof: an unfriendly coldness of manner.

2.

hostile; antagonistic: an unfriendly act of aggression.

3.

unfavorable; inhospitable or inimical, as an environment: an unfriendly climate for new ideas.

–adverb

4.

in an unfriendly manner.

Today, when we say someone is unfriendly, I think we often mean it in the sense of disposition, though in our hearts we may also suspect all the other meanings of the word to be applicable as well. I don't think many of us are, or mean to be truly unfriendly in attitude. We just don't know what to say to each other most of the time.


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Note to self: Get qian li zhi wai and Love love love

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"There are two sides to believing- one where you grit your teeth and plod on through dark places, and another where you look up to a bright blue sky, and feel deep in your heart, that you can fly." -Me

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Family gradually coming around

When speaking to Dr Wijeysingha, it is hard to forget his father, Eugene Wijeysingha, is the well-liked former principal of Raffles Institution, and in Dr Wijeysingha's own words, an "Establishment man".

So how did his family take the news that he would be joining opposition politics?

"It's not surprising in my family that people do social work, teaching, but when I got involved in formal politics, they were apprehensive," he said.

"When I told them it was SDP, even more apprehensive," he said, with a laugh.

But after explaining his views and including them in party activities, they are "gradually coming around," he said.

On a scale of one (least supportive) to 10 (most supportive), he believes they are now at a six.

Recalling the most important advice he has received, told to him by a close friend, Dr Wijeysingha said, "Don't ever forget why you are doing what you are doing."

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inviting tempting enticing suggestive alluring

Bleak

Social solidarity of any sort is founded upon perceptions of shared common ground, similarity, and mutual stakes (a shared destiny). It's always made me think that any movements for social change and the empowerment of marginalized groups will always have to take into account how they plan to emphasize what the privileged have in common with the disenfranchised. Getting across the idea that we share the same fundamental human nature is important. In that sense the 'Grotesque'- that incomplete transformation, that in-between thing, that hybrid creature- is the key to forging new bonds of social solidarity between groups that originally may have had no affection or regard for one another. Two separate individuals come together and give birth to something new, something incomplete (and?) but wonderfully full of potential for growth. It saddens me then that not many people took Nigel's suggestion in class two weeks ago seriously. It was kind of shocking to find out that Nigel didn't take it that seriously either. Can't really tell if he was being frank with me at that point, though. Ah well. The stress of my highly incomplete FYP is getting to me. More than that, I feel bewildered by all this information that I'm reading that I can only half-accept. Life seems too large, too unknowable and too unconquerable these days. It's hard to keep track of what goes right and what goes wrong these days. Acknowledging that God saves, and that he is always doing good things in your life, is difficult too, in its own way... But actually it really isn't. You either follow his voice or you don't. This has and always will be a black and white world, appearing grey only because of terrible image resolution. I'm not sure if I'm doing right by him. Not sure if I'm going the right way. Actually no, I do know. I'm not going the right way. I've avoided Him and I've avoided all the serious questions in my life despite all the good things he has shown me recently, despite all the evil things that, by his hand, have ended up working for my good. Situations that I thought were so horrible and senseless became timely warnings of incoming danger, or gave me perspective on problems that seemed daunting at the time.
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The Silver Spoon Don't be myopic. Stare off into the distance. Look further to the dream that lies in the future.




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Getting anxious and frustrated has always caused me to feel corresponding physiological effects. Now I feel my knees getting a bit inflamed... Have to remember that the mind and the body are not separate things.

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Darkness then, and a pregnant moon
shadow on the minds of men

Open End

It's been a while.

The past few months of my life have been sheer chaos. There were times when I couldn't tell when one day ended and another began. Sometimes it felt like I would get up in the morning, only to look down and see the corpse of the person I once was.

Right now all I want to do is write in the most lyrical prose, to feel words and emotion flowing out of me. But to be honest, it's been a long time since I've done this, and I feel choked up. Bottled up.

Last semester, I came to school in a spirit of great pride. In my head there was the sounding of trumpets and the voices of heralds proclaiming my glory. I thought I was going to achieve in every aspect of my life: Sociology, writing, dancing, the healing of broken friendships. But I was proud in my heart, and I think God couldn't let that pass.

In the end I ended up with even more broken relationships, zero progress in my writing, the worst grades I have ever had, and a pair of shaky legs for the bigger part of the semester (though by God's grace and the hard work of the rest, things worked out great). Besides JC 1, I think this period was the most painful thing I have ever experienced in my life. Losing the trust of all the people I cared about... Losing the trust and affection of the person I cared about most, and having to go through exams completely alone for the first time... The pain was unbearable. I could barely think or sleep. Every other moment I obsessed about how to make things better, how I could turn things around. I contemplated all the ways I would return suffering to those who I thought were responsible for my situation. My heart was always seized with pain, and my head was numb every day. In my heart I cursed the world and I cursed myself.

And I cannot describe how badly it felt. Well, it was bad enough that I'm now willing to break all guidelines of tastefulness to even try. Lolz. God's compassion, and the compassion of the friends who would still talk to me... There is just no way I could've gotten through that time the way that I did.

Ever since the YEP trip last year, I began to realize just how deeply-rooted my need for the approval of others was. YEP showed me how frightened I was of the opinions of others. The episode in school showed me how insecure and how foolish I could be when I wasn't confident in myself or in my relationships. And somehow, in spite of all that self-consciousness and constant self-monitoring, I never noticed all the times that I failed to truly own up to mistakes I had made, to deal with the consequences of my actions instead of avoiding them out of pride or fear.

I guess that in the past I would have written all this with all the self-recrimination I could muster. I'm not really feeling it now though. As painful as it was, what's past is past. There were a lot of lessons to be learnt, and I honestly do not know if I have learnt what I ought to have learnt, or if the lessons will stick. The past 11 weeks went by in a flash. There were so many days where things seemed completely out of control, where there were no neat endings, no resolutions, no closure. But if there's anything I do know, it's that I lived each day in the moment, pushing myself to do my best, and relying on God to help me with all the things I couldn't control. I haven't accomplished all the things that I set out to do. Heck. My GP project is dead in the water. But I know now... I know with a certainty that God is faithful, and that he has done amazing things in my life this semester. And I know now that I should be more patient about the things that worry me most, because he makes all things beautiful in their time. I know this now in a way that I could not know it before, in way that words could not teach me.

In the end, there are just too many things that cannot be controlled- circumstances, results, and the things that people think about you are simply a few of them. There are only a few things that we can do in recognition of this. Plan ahead as far as you conceivably can. Act calmly, in a way that shows respect to the people around you. Pray to the Lord to ask where you should go. Stand firm and persevere. Live as honestly as you can, deal as fairly as you can, and worry as little as you can.

"Life's too short to be burdened by people who don't genuinely want to be with you." -Beatrice Tay