_____'s Children

I had a long chat on the bus home with an acquaintance schooling at NIE. He was telling me about how difficult kids were being these days, and after we had ruled out the possibility of nostalgia coloring our vision, we concluded that changes really might be occurring due to some relatively recent society-wide changes in culture.

One of the things he told me was that the kids were so rowdy and uncontrollable at times that they could even chatter among themselves though he was standing in front of them. That seemed like nothing out of the ordinary, but what we discussed after got me thinking.

He told me that a lot of the (richer) schools were investing heavily in IT and media technologies for the classroom. Beyond that, the daily lives of kids are now saturated with computers, smartphones, and tablets. Apparently the kids that he taught (not sure how representative they are) had real problems concentrating on textbook formats; studies are also suggesting that the attention span of today's kids can only be effectively maintained using digital media.

Going past the stage of vague (though valid) accusations at modern parents for lack of involvement/disciplining... I can't help but feel that this has got to be true... Digital media provides intense stimulation, and I just can't imagine kids willing to go back to books after being exposed to it at an early age.

It makes me wonder about the future of the purely textual book. And it makes me wonder about how our society is going to evolve in the near future. Is it necessarily a bad thing that children are being drawn into these artificially constructed worlds? There's a lot of valid things to be said about over-reliance on technology and the negative effects (psychologically, or in terms of relationship formation) this could have on a child who overindulges (after all, in most virtual worlds, you are pretty much the unstoppable center-of-the-universe). But separate from these admittedly justified worries is the possibility of the kind of future we see in the movies: kids communicating a wealth of information through visual symbols rather than through words.

I love written stories and the English language, but I can't help but wonder what place it will have in 5 years time. To what extent can people be shaped by technological innovations? To what extent should they be shaped? And to what extent do they remain the same?

‎"How do you expect kids to listen to their parents when Tarzan lives half naked, Cinderella comes home at midnight, Pinocchio lies all the time, Aladdin is the king of thieves, Batman drives at 200 mph, Sleeping Beauty keeps sleeping, and Snow White lives with 7 guys. We shouldn't be surprised when kids misbehave - they get it from their story books." -Someone

Jotter Books

When I was young, I was an extremely introverted kid... I don't really have many clear memories of my life then, but from what I can remember, I didn't frequently interact with people in conventional ways...

My sister reminded me of a hobby I used to have during primary school. Apparently, I would draw adventure mazes in my school-issued jotter books, complete with traps, monsters,treasures and bags of money with big '$' signs on them. After remembering about those days, I started to remember that I often invited my classmates to play my little book-drawn RPG. Hahah.

I suppose it was the enjoyment of adventure books and RPGs which led me to exercise my creativity in such a manner. And I guess that my classmates were willing to play with me as well because we simply didn't have anything else to do at the time (though of course my maze must have been loads of fun, in any case).

Today the kids have an endless flood of technology, toys, and electronic games to entertain them. I'm sure that 99% of them would mock and scoff at my humble jotter book adventure. That's fine though. Before jotter books kids played with pebbles and dirt in the ground. The medium changes but the spirit of play remains the same.

What does worry me however, is how the kids of today will exercise their creative urge. How will they find a way to bring their own creative yearnings to fruition in the classroom? The problem isn't a lack of creative content to appreciate; every generation has its own source of creatively stimulating games and stories. The problem (given that there are still kids that might enjoy playing creatively) now is that kids no longer have immediate access to the tools that could allow them to even begin creating things that approximate the objects they enjoy (The 'Angry Birds' and 'Solomon's Graveyards' that are popular today). Back in my day *cough*, we had pencils and jotter books. Now there are iphones, ipads, and smartphones. The jotter book of today is there but there is no pencil.

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As a long-time and hardcore gamer, I do think that game addiction does deserve its stigmatizing label. Games, while holding the potential for great good, can also be very self-destructive to the user if played excessively. In spite of this, I can't help but wonder at how people cannot see why they are addictive.

It is said that babies are full of wonder towards life, that even the simplest button or chew toy can hold their attention for hours at a time. We don't say that babies are addicted to chew toys. Reality is new to them; the perception of it utterly entrancing and absorbing.

How is it different when we experience completely new realities and dynamics through computer screens and game consoles? Simply put, it isn't. Not in itself. Just like babies can grow out of chew toys, boys and girls can grow out of computer games and go from complete absorption to a moderated appreciation/admiration for these beautifully crafted worlds.

The problem then, is not that kids get absorbed by their games, but that some never grow out of it, and some get too absorbed during their impressionable youth at the cost of their studies and academic life (something, which though rightly so, is forced on them by circumstance and society). This is what we have to fix, rather than games themselves.

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green fleur-de-lis

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a beaming white jewel in the sky

silver grey and bronze sky

pudgy as the pig

the wretched conditions of its birth

Rhythm Emotion

You could write a whole essay about the important things in life, but the most important things are also often the simplest ones- they only really need one line for their meaning to be understood.

It's a mysterious blessing that we can go to sleep with questions and doubts in our heads, then wake up the next morning and find that everything has straightened out. When we're in confusion, it's like hundreds of lines are written on our hearts- the lies we tell ourselves complicate something that is very simple, adding unnecessary justifications and qualifications to our thoughts.

But if you manage to face who you are and what you really want, then all you'll have etched on your heart are a few simple lines. They'll tell you the most important things you need to know. They'll be all you ever truly need.

Lie down and listen. Think about nothing in particular. That one heartbeat is all you need to hear for you to be sure.


"Your inability is mortifying." Hmmm. I should work on this and make it a really caustic retort. But anyway.

The word 'then' isn't dead, but I sure am having a hard time using it somehow. I'm also not sure about my use of ' - ' (M dash). I sure wish someone could alleviate my confusion on this, or AMELIORATE the situation. But anyway.


I know who I am. I'm just a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude... Well okay, I guess I know more now, at least. Ralph Waldo Emerson has a very succinct quote for this: "What you are comes to you." Just like in the movies, climactic experiences bring out what we are deep inside. Unlike the movies, this often involves a lot more screwing up.

I know what I want. I want, I want, I want, and I want. Work work.
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Note to self: Write about 'all the good ones' in the next post.

Anger and other assorted feelings

On Thursday, I went with Mych to Ikea to take a look around. I think her idea of walking around places just to find inspiration for things pretty good. I left the place with a few good ideas to pursue in the next two months.

I finished IPPT in the evening after an incredible 3 hours because I came late for the registration. I got home and watched Glee reruns, followed by clips of Pastor Rony Tan's tirade against other religions. Senseless. Distasteful. Offensively illogical. Offensive.

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Friday was... an interesting day. A bunch of us Soci peeps met up at Sultan Kebabs to eat (Note to reader: Even if you're dying of starvation, do not ever go to the stingy, overpriced Turkish Kebab place at Far East plaza). We sat there and argued over what activity to do after the meal, and we finally settled on playing LAN. The shops were full though, so we ended up crossing the road to play board games at Mind cafe. Vithiya, Sharon and Fadzil turned up later, followed by Clara and her friend.

The highlight for me though, was coaxing Ashley and Vithiya to play L4D2 with us. Heh. That was fun, and Ashley is a pretty quick study. Vithiya seemed to enjoy herself too, and Fadzil shot me a lot (Though I did incap him that one time). After that, the last thing we did was to eat at Aston's.

On a side note, throughout the day, I idly wondered about the kind of things that got me worked up or angry, and the past offenses or hurt I refused to let go of. It made me remember a newspaper article about a man on trial for manslaughter for the death of his two-year old daughter.

He was known to be a loving and caring father, and one day he was on his way home with a Barbie doll for his little girl. When he opened the door, he saw her playing with a packet of his cigarettes. Panicked and enraged by the sight, he rushed at her and beat her on her back, scolding her for touching them. The little girl then slumped over a few minutes later, unable to move. Apparently his blow had burst a major blood vessel near her heart, and blood was welling up in her body. She died soon after.

One can only imagine how that father must now be feeling guilt and shame on so many levels: Guilt because he didn't quit smoking, guilt because his rage blinded him, guilt for beating his innocent girl to death.

What that story left me thinking was about the father's sudden anger and fury. And I thought that although some of us have hotter tempers than others, maybe it takes a lifetime of letting your anger fly over smaller, less significant things, for it to develop to the point where you can be so blinded by your rage that you could hurt a helpless child.

Maybe it takes a lifetime of lustful thoughts and sideways glances for a man to cheat on his wife. Maybe it takes more than just that, and every test we ever cheated on, every lie we ever told can come back to haunt us like this.

Every race we've ever passed was possible because we pushed ourselves every step of the way. Every performance we've ever had was made out of tens, maybe even hundreds of practices. Every friendship we cherish is made up of a gallery of big and small moments, 21st birthdays and daily silences together.

Our life exists as it is not simply because of chance or fate, but because of the way we choose to live in each new situation... My anger is clearly neither rational nor justifiable now. But my expectation of you will remain the same.

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Woke up this morning and realized that I'd been dreaming of Fadzil explaining misconceptions about Islam the night before. . I woke up this morning, thinking of .

It made me think about the things we ought to love but don't, and the terrible things we hanker for/obsess about/obsess over/hanker after(?)/long for.

We live in a big global world now, a world of cities and bureaucracies and universities and job vacancies in a set social structure. Within this structure, you can be powerful or impotent. You can be a star or mud. You can be colorful or conservative. But you must always make money, and you mustn't ever exceed the amount of crazy allotted to you based on your job requirements (ALWAYS EXCEED THE AMOUNT OF CRAZY).

What if we lived in a world where it was normal for everyone to walk around openly with two personalities inside them? What if we could live in a world where ADHD was considered completely unremarkable? After all, there was once a time where classrooms didn't exist, and people spent their whole lives out in the fields, running, doing, playing, farming, copulating, and sometimes dying early of the plague or of bandits (Less people die early of the plague now but the bandits will always be around). Well, we don't live in that world, but still.

TV characters are always one-dimensionally awesome or melancholy, admirable or detestable, congruent or conflicted. They can never be boring or irrelevant or inconsistent, because viewers watch them to admire or hate just one or two qualities about them. People in real life though, are inconsistent characters, and often that inconsistency is inconsequential to the performance of many socially-mandated functions. There's always a child and an adult, a villain and a hero, a knight or a wizard (No dual-spec allowed), a clown and a captain, and many other characters inside us. So many faces, but so few places where they're acceptable, and even fewer the friends whom we can share all of them with.

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Implacable Imperceptible Imbibe Impassive Imperfect Impeccable

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Hanker:

–verb (used without object)
to have a restless or incessant longing (often fol. by after, for, or an infinitive).